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Friday, May 09, 2008

A Chimp walks into a bar in Tenerife

Shocking report, she says!

Two chimps, mother and daughter, according to the Civil Guard, escaped from zoological park Oasis del Valle in La Orotava, Tenerife yesterday and one of them spent two hours in the bar Los Rechazos (ironically, the name of the bar translates to The Rejects.)

You just can't make this stuff up!

Sources at the Civil Guard, says the report, said that at 15:30 hours they were alerted by the zoo that two chimps had escaped and added that one of them was found and captured by the agents on the roof of a neighbouring home.

The other chimp entered a bar in the Camino de Los Rechazos (The Rejects Walk), where she caused alarm among the 20 or so clients, declared Moisés Álvarez, one of the bar's owners. Álvarez explained that around 2 p.m., a chimp of medium size opened the door to the bar and entered, running towards the kitchen, where she also burnt herself and cut her legs on some shelving she destroyed. Many customers left, but two people had tried to get her under control, but were unable to do so because of the animal's strength.

The bar was left without television too, after the chimp's rampage, but presumably customers will have plenty to talk about in the meantime.

There's just no end to the comments you can make about this:
"Everyone's entitled to a wild time, a few drinks and a laugh, at least once, even chimps and chimps are our nearest relatives, remember." 
"With the price of drinks, it's no wonder she wanted to smash the place up." 
"I know a couple of girls like that in La Orotava, if they're the same ones ..."
Punters will be asking each other forever, "Hey, do you remember the day a chimp came in here and vandalized the place?" Bar owners in the tourist areas of the south of the island have probably been having very similar conversations for years already.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

HAHAHAHAHA!

That bar (or the name) certainly rings a bell... being located only ~3km from my place.

I especially like the way they commented that it was a medium sized chimp. Quality journalism right there. But I was initially under the impression that it sat in the bar well-behaved for two hours.

The poor thing would have had to cross TF-31 which fairly busy road. I guess I'd be angry too if I was locked up in a zoo.

Les.

Pamela Stocks said...

Yeah, the bit about the medium sized chimp made me laugh too.

It's just the typically officious, unnecessary and inconsequential stuff of police reports. It shouldn't get into news reports, but it's such a feature of reporting here and, as in this case, adds to the entertainment.

Poor thing having to cross that road, but yeah, I'm kinda happy for them that they had a couple of hours change of scenery too.

Next time they'll order "batidos de platano" probably! :)

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