24th Palma Canaria Norte Rally

The crowd goes wild for #2 José María Ponce's BMW M3

"Liveblogging" the 24th Palma Canaria Norte Rally, only 'coz it comes right past the door and the road was closed to traffic today, so I have no option, but while in previous years the rally took us by surprise, this year I was ready for them!

#14 Escuderia Club ADEA. Driver: Evelio Rodriguez.
Copilot: Samuel Martin. Vehicle: Mitsubishi Evo 8

#11 Escuderia Team Sinco Sport. Driver: Roberto Negrin.
Copilot: Zebensui Valiente. Vehicle: Mitsubishi Evo 8

For a change, I was even up before the "capacity crowd" (of five blokes) had assembled at the bottom of our lane. They were well prepared for the day with their huge bocadillos for breakfast and, tell me they are rally fans who go to all of these events around the island. And I was pleased that I was ready in time to see the #1 car, a Citroen Xsara Kit Car, of this year's favorite, Ricardo Avero (La Laguna) flash rapidly past and get the shot above of #2 José María Ponce's BMW M3, because even I know that invoking the name of Ponce in relation to rallies on these islands is the kind of act that draws fans to pay homage (in a way we Anglo-Saxons might think was a bit mushy between straight adult blokes.)

Nevertheless, the names of Gran Canarian brothers, Antonio (Toñi) and José María Ponce, have been synonymous with the sport in the Canaries for many a year now: José Maria having won the Spanish Rally Championship for Drivers with the BMW M3 in 1991, with both achieving many other world class classifications. At Toñi Ponce Sport, you can buy models of their cars, including a limited edition slot car version of the green BMW M3 pictured above.

Bit of excitement too when a police helicopter appeared over the mountain pass coming from the direction of Masca and then zig-zagged down the route through the valley in pursuit of one of the cars. We doubt the driver is a known fugitive. Safety perhaps, or the Guardia Civil is moonlighting for a local TV station?

A total of 98 cars will be whizzing past today apparently. We (that is, the dog and I, because she barks at the unfamiliar noise if she's indoors), took a break after the Renault 5 at #34 and not long after, the road was reopened again.

Spectators are gathering again at the roadsides now for part two.

A Chimp walks into a bar in Tenerife

Shocking report, she says!

Two chimps, mother and daughter, according to the Civil Guard, escaped from zoological park Oasis del Valle in La Orotava, Tenerife yesterday and one of them spent two hours in the bar Los Rechazos (ironically, the name of the bar translates to The Rejects.) Truly, you just can't make this stuff up!

Sources at the Civil Guard, says the report, said that at 15:30 hours they were alerted by the zoo that two chimps had escaped and added that one of them was found and captured by the agents on the roof of a neighbouring home.

The other chimp entered a bar in the Camino de Los Rechazos (The Rejects Walk), where she caused alarm among the 20 or so clients, declared Moisés Álvarez, one of the bar's owners. Álvarez explained that around 2 p.m., a chimp of medium size opened the door to the bar and entered, running towards the kitchen, where she also burnt herself and cut her legs on some shelving she destroyed. Many customers left, but two people had tried to get her under control, but were unable to do so because of the animal's strength.

The bar was left without television too, after the chimp's rampage, but presumably customers will have plenty to talk about in the meantime.

There's just no end to the comments you can make about this:

"Everyone's entitled to a wild time, a few drinks and a laugh, at least once, even chimps and chimps are our nearest relatives, remember." 

"With the price of drinks, it's no wonder she wanted to smash the place up." 

"I know a couple of girls like that in La Orotava, if they're the same ones ..."

Punters will be asking each other forever, "Hey, do you remember the day a chimp came in here and vandalized the place?" 

Bar owners in the tourist areas of the south of the island have probably been having very similar conversations for years already.

Tenerife brings you Snakes on a Moped ...

(Pitón de la India albina. Photo: Diego Delso, License CC-BY-SA 3.0)

No doubt you've found yourself in this situation before: you buy a two meter long python and all the store gives you is this thin, crappy plastic carrier bag that wouldn't even support the weight of two yogurts. So you think to yourself, "What can I do to get this home through the many streets of La Laguna?"

And, after the appropriate amount of mature reflection, you come up with a plan:

"Oh yeah, I'll hop on my moped, wearing the python as a scarf!"

Never mind that neither of us has a crash helmet.

This news appeared in today's La Gaceta de Canarias apparently, but I've roughly translated this from an item at Canarias Bruta, which indicates that the only reason police were suspicious was the guy's of the lack of crash helmet.

We assume otherwise, he'd have been able to be "a bit more slippery?"

Once apprehended, the officers of the law then noticed that the rider had a yellow lump about his person, whereupon the said yoof showed them the receipt, proving that he had indeed just purchased Hissing Sid.

We've had Snakes on a Plane, Snakes on a Blog; Suddenly Snakes in a Cartoon seems a bit tame, but Snakes on a Moped just seems, well, kinda ... Dare I say it? Yes, bloody typical of this island! Last time, as Canarias Bruta also remind us, it was a goat on a moped. That time the animal was wearing a crash helmet.

Apart from wondering WTF people want such weird critters as pets for - what's wrong with a nice little, fluffy, pussy cat? - all I can add is this, paraphrasing Python Lee Jackson. 

Snake transporting dream broken, as he pushed his luck too far ...

Santa Cruz Carnival Grand Bang Fest

Batucada in Rio

Yesterday's Carnaval de Día (Daytime Carnaval) initiative for the final weekend of carnaval in Santa Cruz definitely started with a bang. Firstly with what they're calling a gran batucada. If you've ever given a toddler a toy drum you'll know exactly what this means, incessant drumming, only this time produced by whole groups of adults, rhythmically. It's make as much noise as possible time. But, as if that wasn't enough for you, this was followed by the incredibly noisy - imagine how it must have sounded live - fireworks-by-day spectacle coming from the Plaza de España, provided by Los Realejos' firm Hermanos Toste.

These noise fireworks are already famous in Valencia and the custom there was unlike any other, where they're called a mascletà or mascletada (bang fest). Michael Palin, in his Hemingway Adventure (video), calls them "a celebration of noise", a competition to make "a bigger, more beautiful din" and "the world eardrum splitting finals." Given the fuss made about carnaval's noise in recent years in Santa Cruz it is the absolute height of irony (maybe sarcasm) to introduce this 120dB+ spectacle. In Tenerife, they are calling this firework finger gesture a "gran traca." Don't you just love the typical anarchy?

Whoever planned this day's events and the order of service should be wholly congratulated. They clearly knew exactly what emotion they wanted to provoke, as it builds from the drumming, into the firework frenzy ... And bang Billos Caracas Boys launch into the classic, "Santa Cruz en Carnaval". That song has become a genuine carnaval hymn because Billos Caracas Boys had appeared with the late Celia Cruz, Queen of Salsa, now Immortal Goddess, at Santa Cruz Carnival's Greatest Ever Moment in History: the Guinness World Record for the largest attendance at a dance; 250,000 people, back in 1987.

Over 120dB sure is a LOT of Santa Cruz en Carnaval loving emotion!

Santa Cruz en Carnaval Billos Caracas Boys 2008

Puerto de la Cruz Carnaval Parade 2008

Carnival Parade in Puerto de la Cruz

Sod's Law always brings some rain or bad weather, at least once while carnival is on in the Canary Islands and this year has been no exception, which explains why the sky is washed out and the colours hazy in these photos. All of the parades and concerts planned in Santa Cruz yesterday, got postponed because of the rains (well, actually a multiple-choice, smorgasbord of strange weather phenomena), with hot calima coming in from the east and cold air from the west, so it was no wonder it collided in the middle and created a huge storm. And boy, that was some storm we had in the early hours of Saturday too.

La Palma even got snow!

Here at "Secret Tenerife Towers," we were woken at 5.30 a.m. when lightening struck an electrical pylon, not 25 meters from the house with a noise like a huge explosion. So, after 9 hours without power; cold, damp, no hot food, no coffee, we decided to go out and catch the bus to Puerto de la Cruz to warm up and see the carnival procession. Like everything here, the Gran Coso Apoteosis del Puerto de la Cruz was listed as starting at 4 pm, but the reality was that it started at 5 pm at the "wrong" end of town for those of us who needed to dash back to the bus station to catch our last bus home at 6 pm. This reduced the couple of hours we thought we had to a mere 5 minutes, but here's what we saw.

Carnaval goers wouldn't go hungry with stalls selling food in the Plaza de Charco

No costume, no problem! You'd have be as mad as a hatter to pay the "last minute" prices tho!

Santa Cruz de Tenerife Carnival Queen 2008

Nauzet Celeste Cruz Melo Carnival Queen in Santa Cruz de Tenerife 2008

Nauzet Celeste Cruz Melo was crowned carnival queen in Santa Cruz de Tenerife in 2008 in a costume entitled, "La Edad de Oro" (The Golden Age), designed by Santi Castro and representing the (French owned) supermarket chain, Carrefour.

In 2008, the court consisted:

1. 1st Maid of Honour: Davinia Mendoza Hernández, with a costume entitled "Peccata Mundi" (The sins of the world), representing Grupo AC Bingo Colombófilo and designed by Juan Carlos Armas.
2. 2nd Maid of Honour: Alicia Retuerto Barrera, with a costume entitled "La fuente de la vida" (The source of life), representing newspaper "El Día" and designed by Leo Martínez.
3. 3rd Maid of Honour: Tamarit Raimóndez González, with "Aquella por la que el sol brilla" (The one for which the sun shines), representing Centro Comercial Alcampo - La Laguna and designed by Juan Carlos Armas.
4. 4th Maid of Honour: Gemma González Rodríguez, with a costume entitled "El mágico mundo de Picasso" (The magical world of Picasso), representing Barbacoa Tacoronte and designed by Expedita Hernández.

The theme of carnival in Santa Cruz de Tenerife in 2008 was "Magic". The stage that year was moved to the esplanade of the Parque Marítimo César Manrique. The decoration was inspired by the fight between good and evil (white magic and black magic), incorporating motifs from The NeverEnding Story, The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. During this gala the Queen of 2007 was crowned again since the previous year, she wasn't crowned as is traditionally done. The 2008 gala, full of colour and magic and directed by Jaime Azpilicueta, recovered the essence of Carnival, with all the Carnival groups participating and was presented by magician Jorge Blas and Tenerife journalist, Iván Bonales.

If the Gala to select the Carnaval Queen in Santa Cruz, Tenerife, last year was "Amargo" (bitter), then this year's was surreal and, I'm not just talking about one of the costumes, with one of Salvador Dali's "melting" clocks and a picture of the mustachio'd artist on the flounce of her dress. (That was my favourite.)

The surreal part was seeing an ostensibly English design, chosen by a panel of mostly Spanish judges, that also included, French actor, Gérard Depardieu and Italian actress, Sophia Loren. It was reported Loren would "probably" dress up in costume. If so, she was disguised as actress, Sophia Loren.

When this year's queen came out onto the stage originally as a candidate, she was introduced as Queen Elizabeth I (you know, of England), not Reina Isabella I, and the music that was played while she paraded was "Rule Britannia". You certainly can't accuse the Spanish of being bad losers, endorsing Queen Elizabeth I and Rule Britannia, given the history of the Armada! Nor indeed of any remaining animosity over the part she played in local history. Elizabeth I is known to have backed English pirate, John Hawkins, who was slave trading partner of Pedro de Ponte (son of Cristóbal de Ponte, the man who financed the conquest of Tenerife). Hawkins once lived in Ponte Jr's house, the Casa Fuerte, in Tenerife, in Adeje. Last night's "Queen Elizabeth I" is from next door in Arona.

The upshot is what Nelson (and a few others before him) failed to do by force, it seems we've finally managed with a Carnaval Queen (if only for a year) and, more surprisingly, we've achieved this Révolution surréaliste with French, Italian and Spanish help. Oh, the slated Harry Potter and David Copperfield were magically made to disappear. That is, they were conspicuous by their complete absence at the gala and turned out to be Tenerife myth and rumour, as we'd suspected.

The televised gala was school end of term concert quality and there were the endless performances by all the carnaval groups and dancers, but that's exactly what carnaval is all about, so it was good, despite all the technical hitches. They just added to the entertainment. The worst of those hiccups might have been that there was no sound to her mike all through Xiomara Laugart's first number, but it was easily  surpassed because the sound did work through her second one.

The Orishas were great, even if they were miming (as you'd expect.) Santa Cruz' carnaval got another boost, as their Hip Hop Conga, the official tune of Carnaval 2008, with references to the city, the fiesta and the word shared by Cuba and the Canary Islands, guagua (bus), appears on their album, Cosita Buena.

 
Gran Gala de la Reina del Carnaval de S/C de Tenerife 2008

Canarian Cowboys and Preposterous Pets

Canarian Cowboy

At Los Silos for their annual Fiestas for San Antonio Abad and Crafts Fair. 

Inside the former convent in Los Silos

Local pottery on display

A stall at the crafts fair in the square

The craft fair was held in the square, as well as inside the former convent.

Horse whispering

Goats with red ribbons

Sheep and a ram

Pigmy goat

Tweety-pie and his mates

Fanciers friends

At Los Silos were many horses, goats with red ribbons, sheep (and a ram upgrade), a fully-grown mini-goat, domestic canaries, rows upon rows of racing pigeons and, an ever increasing number and diversity of pets. At this fiesta, to which animals are brought to be blessed, or at least gawked at, there were far too many dogs to count and, besides, they seem rather boring and ordinary next to some of the more exotic and unusual specimens.

Reptilian chap on a lead

People brought rabbits in hutches on wheels. There were large reptiles on leads. Many people seemed to have a snake around their neck or wrist and, one young girl brought along a small basket of lettuce (with handle). This last, I discovered upon closer inspection, was not a salad, but a tiny little turtle or tortoise.

Being blessed in hopes of a good Christmas Dinner? 

Risking a serious lynching for my cheek though, the prize for "pet who most looked like owner" (or vice-versa), must surely go to this dear little wrinkled old lady, who had brought along her turkey, on a string tied round his leg. 

Handsome horse

Iglesia de Nuestra Señora de La Luz (Los Silos)

In traditional costumes

Fruit and vegetables locally grown